A Husband and Father

The Highest Branch on The Apple Tree

Posted by The Author , Thursday, June 3, 2010 9:11 PM

Quotations centered on the page are from the song "Everything is good for you" by Crowded House. The video can be found at the bottom of the post. 

My biggest problem with spiritualism in general and religion specifically is not so much what I believe, but the perception that my beliefs are not welcome by those around me. Though I have spent my entire thinking life searching for the barest spark of faith via educating myself on all major world's religions, aboriginal and tribal practices along side modern physics, science and cosmology, the fact remains that I come from a Catholic family who has never made a practice of discussing religion let alone spirituality. As a member of my family once told me "You are Catholic no matter what you think. " My retort of "I'm a thinker, therefore not a Catholic." was not greeted with any kind of appreciation. To be honest, I might have been a little militant and pushy in the past when it came to trying to enlighten others. The fact is that I was jealous of anyone who could look me in the eye and say that had "faith", but oh how I love to argue... Adam Clayton of the band U2 said it best;

"There are some people who say you shouldn't mix politics and music, sports and politics. Well... I think that's kinda bullshit!"

Maybe it has something to do with maturity but I find myself less and less concerned with espousing my beliefs whether they be Political, Religious or what have you. I do get pulled in by what I believe are points of contention, inaccurate reports or vague declarations of right and wrong, but as the days go by I am less and less concerned. I'm learning to let the bait swim on by without offering so much as a nibble.


So, I had just finished watching the monologue and I was in an unusually positive mood. I felt vindicated, yet, not spiteful in any way. Someone else felt as I did, suffered the same doubts and though we reached an ultimately different conclusion, it was similar enough to lend me some solace. I made my way into the kitchen to clean up some orphaned dishes and begin preparing dinner before the family got home. I put some old favorite songs (Recurring Dream; the very best of Crowded House)  onto the kitchen iPod. As I began to unload and then reload the dishwasher, hand wash some pieces etc. the song I've been quoting throughout this post came on. As I sang the line "All paths lead to the same conclusion..." a warm feeling washed over me. It was okay to feel the way I did. I could be proud of my journey without trying to change other people's feelings (I've never really done that though I have interrogated a few believers hoping they would give up their secrets). I would not advertise my heresy, if pressed, I would merely say that I was not practicing (as I've said in the past) if pressed further I would state that my beliefs were personal. I had divested myself of the argument. I was free.

That lasted for about ten seconds. That is when the thought of my children came up. My wife and I were both raised Catholic. We have both received five of the seven sacraments save Holy Orders (six for me since I was administered Extreme Unction as an infant). I wont discuss my wife's religious proclivities but suffice to say she is far more Catholic than  I. As far as introducing our children to Catholicism, we are not regular church goers. The Wife and the girls go when Grandma is town, when we are back east visiting and we attend locally on the big holidays. Rosie has attended a bible camp and will soon be starting catechism to begin her own climb up the sacramental ladder. I've always been okay with that. There has always existed a bit of a detente in regards to religion and the kids. My feelings are known by The Wife, but we have a bit of an unspoken agreement; I don't have to put too much effort toward ensuring their dogmatic indoctrination but I don't get to sabotage it either.