A Husband and Father

True Family

Posted by The Author , Saturday, May 22, 2010 1:38 AM

Please pardon this rant. I was recently reminded of a challenge to my personal definition of how certain family members should be titled via a popular social networking medium. Put in plain English, I stated in a public electronic forum that certain blood relations were of a closer specified relation than blood would allow.

Why did I do this? Why would I do this?

Answered simply;

1. I did it because it was right to do.
2. I did it because I meant it.

Shall I be even more specific?  Ok... I said on Facebook that my nieces were my sisters and I stand by the fact that... they are.

Being a brother, sister etc is a privilege. Not a right. Blood means that someone shared parentage, but does not ensure, engender or guarantee loyalty. This is not a hypothesis. This is not a Theory. This is a fact.

How do I know? Empirical evidence my friend. It has been proven. By action on the part of some and lack of action of others time and time again.

Family, loyalty and love are not a game. Score is not kept, tallies are not settled. Family, loyalty and love are silent wars of attrition where only those who's mettle is true and love is real survive. It is not a popularity contest.

Therefore today I step off the high road. This is not to say that I will bow to ruder tactics or nasty double entendre to seek out revenge upon those who disagree... no, I merely disavow myself of the argument.

You see, I live a professional life where thousands of men and women are my brothers and sisters. We call each other such to each others faces on a daily basis. We have bonded so via common experience, shared code and moral value. It is a choice we have made.

What I share with the young ladies in question; My sisters, is something even greater. Not only did blood, relation and circumstance push us toward another, diversity, distance and strife could not and will not keep us apart...

This is the part in the conversation where I sigh, look down at the ground and give it just one last try...

I love my sisters, these three amazing young women. I am blessed to be their brother. I dont give a good god damn what someone who doesn't understand those words thinks.

I care about My Family, a family which includes many people, blood and not... and which when examined honestly is a strong and enviable clan.

You see, Family is a privilege... not a right.

It is something you fight for, not rail against.

In the end it is not something you are born to,  it is something that must be earned... and if you treat it badly and with contempt... it can be lost.