The Team
Posted by The Author , Sunday, April 18, 2010 12:37 AM
Why? Why add another blog to the roll call of unread bits, bites and blather that inhabit cyberspace? Simple self indulgence, ego and a vague sense of adventure really.
The Wife and I started watching Julie and Julia tonight and paused it within bare minutes of starting to have a bit of a chat. We'd had some friction throughout the day and perhaps week [read: years] over some vague points of contention and felt the urge to pause in our entertainment to discuss it...
Now many might read this as code for "An argument"... and they would be right. To be more accurate though it was a discussion. See, We used to (and will again I am sure) argue, but I have been making a great effort of late to be less passive aggressive and to bring my more emotive points to bare in a less contentious fashion [translation: I'm trying to be less of an asshole].
Guess what? It worked! We were able to get a lot of feelings out on the table; feelings that in the past would have led to huffing, puffing and really just loss of communication rather than consensus. Now, understand that I am not really taking full credit for a meaningful conversation that actually led to resuming and enjoying a movie, drinks and snacks, but in this instance I was able to notice it and bring it to light.
I realized that we both wanted the same thing... We have both often expressed how we needed to be more of a... Team
Yes, a team. That was nothing new. We both new that the other was not supporting our agenda, wants, needs etc. to the point that we needed for true blue fulfillment. We were on the cusp of a complete breakdown in communication that would have led to yet another ruined evening based on selfish and self centered whining (yes, insensitive, but wait, there is more...).
We were both waiting for the other to get on board for the big win and join OUR team, and by our team we mean MY team...
See, the Team is us. Not me and your failings, not you and my shortcomings, but WE.
It dawned on me all in one fell swoop that what we both wanted, both NEEDED was to understand that all we both really wanted was the other to pay attention what was important to the other. Simple? Yes... but often seeing the forest for the trees is harder than it seems.
I need to pay better attention to Her and her needs, what is important to her. I need to pay less attention to my wants, and where they are left behind. Only then will I myself become part of...
The Team.
Post a Comment